Started from the bottom now we here

Presented without comment.

Izzowl

In lieu of a half-baked post about the Big Ten championship

BrendOwl Gibbons

Victory Owl

It's a celebration bitches.

Nevin Shapiro, Yahoo!, and the Twitter outcry

Yesterday afternoon, Yahoo! Sports' rumored "10 out of 10" college football story finally dropped, and the sound you heard upon its arrival was college football coming to a screeching halt. This is a bombshell of epic proportions. The takeaway:

In 100 hours of jailhouse interviews during Yahoo! Sports’ 11-month investigation, Hurricanes booster Nevin Shapiro described a sustained, eight-year run of rampant NCAA rule-breaking, some of it with the knowledge or direct participation of at least seven coaches from the Miami football and basketball programs. At a cost that Shapiro estimates in the millions of dollars, he said his benefits to athletes included but were not limited to cash, prostitutes, entertainment in his multimillion-dollar homes and yacht, paid trips to high-end restaurants and nightclubs, jewelry, bounties for on-field play (including bounties for injuring opposing players), travel and, on one occasion, an abortion.

This story has absolutely everything you can imagine from an NCAA violation standpoint and then some. This is the storyline of a Martin Scorsese film, rife with bank statements, corroborating testimony from a federal trial, and admission from former players/rule breakers. If ever there was a reason to bring back the Death Penalty, this is it. These allegations make Tressel and Ohio State look like tiddly winks, and those were not tiddly winks.

I honestly don't have too much to say with regards to the impact this will have on college football. I'm still kind of in awe of it all. But I'm relatively certain this will end in the dissolution of the Miami football program. It has to, right?

The story that bloggers and Twitter seem to be pushing, however, is ESPN's lack of relevance anymore. Despite this being the biggest sports story since steroids, ESPN has scarce coverage at best, deciding instead to report on Chris Johnson's contract talks. It's tough to argue that Yahoo! Sports is not the premiere sports reporting outlet in the US now. There's really not any competition. ESPN does Outside the Lines follow-ups to stories Yahoo! has previously broken, while Charles Robinson moves on to the next blockbuster.

But whether or not this actually detracts from ESPN is another argument entirely. Despite ESPN's posturing about being a legitimate reporting outlet, its most important contribution to sports is and always will be the distilling of the best 10 plays of the night into a 45-second clip. ESPN brings you highlights, it brings you live events, and occasionally, because of the company's incredible reach and resources, it will bring you a news story. Never is that more clear than with this report. Not that ESPN's contribution is a bad thing, necessarily, because the self-proclaimed World Wide Leader in Sports does a lot of good and is a lowest common denominator for sports fans. But the transparency of that existence should now be clear to almost everyone.

Yahoo! doesn't make ESPN obsolete because ESPN provides a real service. But this report, among the others that Robinson and company have broken open, positions Yahoo! as the most important and relevant sports news organization in the country.

Michigan State upset: Where Wet Owl gets meta

You're welcome, Michigan fans. It's only now that I can reveal the true genius of my plan: criticize John Beilein's performance in order to motivate the team to defeat in-state rival Michigan State and end one of the more infuriating streaks of the last several years. In reality, Wet Owl mocks mocks my predictions and tells Mike Hart, "zone left".

Yesterday's victory against Michigan State was at worst, the end to a losing streak that's been alive since 2007, and at best, a sign of what Michigan's basketball team could be in the future. After coming close a lot of times this year, Michigan finally finished a game off with the help of a Stu Douglass dagger and running the shot clock down to five seconds on seemingly every Michigan possession in the second half. The team played as well or better than they have all year and it finally paid off. Michigan out-rebounded MSU (!), shot 10/21 from three-point range, and finished the game with two more assists than Michigan State. They out hustled and out played the Spartans in their own building, something a non-hockey Michigan team hasn't done in a  while.

Obviously, this one win isn't going to change my opinions on Beilein: I'm still concerned that sustained success under Beilein is either a long time away or never coming. But yesterday's game gave glimpses of what could be: a three-point shooting powerhouse that plays tight defense and hits the boards hard. The team's performance is the best-case scenario going forward, and in the future, increasing experience should lower variance and provide more consistent play. Whether or not Michigan frequently approaches 50% from three-point range is unknown and unlikely, but if they can find a way to avoid their persistent shooting woes, we could see a quick return to the NCAA squad that captured the fanbase's hearts in 2009.

Michigan State, meanwhile, played a remarkably poor game, shooting 5-19 from outside (hey, those are Michigan numbers!) and, as mentioned, were out-rebounded by an undersized Wolverine squad. A missed open layup down the stretch encapsulated the Spartans' game: missing easy shots because Michigan's defense took them out of rhythm. If the two teams played yesterday's game 10 more times, I'd expect MSU to win 9 or 10 of those games. But fortunately, that's not how sports work. Michigan turned East Lansing into Wootcity and made me look silly just days after I questioned the team and coach's performance.

They're now 2-6 in conference and, though the NCAA Tournament is almost certainly out of question now, Michigan can pull itself out of the Big Ten cellar with upcoming games against Iowa, Indiana, Northwestern, and Penn State. If they can win 2-3 of these games, the good vibes from this Michigan State win may help carry the team to the end of the season, but with an upcoming matchup against #1 Ohio State, a loss to any of these Big Ten bottom feeders could quickly send the team spiraling back into a 6-game (or more) losing streak. For now, let's celebrate. Michigan has broken one of our devastating losing streaks.

It's Brady Fucking Hoke

Brady Hoke is the next Michigan head coach. This means the end of Denard Robinson who will transfer in 25 minutes or so. It also means the end of the spread offense and any hope for the future. Michigan is going paleolithic on the Big Ten.

We just hired a head coach that is 47-50 in his career. Dave Brandon should be put in shackles and set adrift. This is unacceptable.

The coaching search continues

First Jim Harbaugh was a lock. Then Brady Hoke. Then Les Miles. Then Brady Hoke. And now, there's a Dominos plane that's flying to Southern California because, gasp, there's a Dominos presentation in--you guessed it--Southern California.

I've complained about ESPN a lot in the past year. From the Brett Favre waffling to where Lebron would go to various coaching jobs to Michigan's own NCAA violations, all of which they've reported on and been wildly wrong about. And now the Michigan blogosphere, like scorned lovers, are feverishly watching Flight Tracker in the hopes that it will give them some clue as to where Dave Brandon might be going in order to talk to prospective coaching applicants. The world has gone mad, and sports reporting--whether it be through traditional sources or the usually more reliable blogs--is probably the reason for it.

I continue not to have much to say about this coaching search because I'm not watching planes fly around the country and because most of the "sources" that people trust are as flamboyantly wrong as Random Dude on a message board that says his brother is married to Coach X's daughter and she heard through the grapevine that Les Miles is a holy lock to come to Michigan. My sources indicate Wet Owl, and until further notice, I'm sticking with that.

Until the time comes that there's actually real news (and not just the kind of news we got today about Les Miles accepting the Michigan job), I'm not going to have much to say. There's nothing for me to speculate that hasn't already been said. My feelings toward Dave Brandon remain the same, if not become more amplified: For all the talk of trying to unite the fanbase, it's becoming clear that Brandon was one of the partisans. Rich Rodriguez was never good enough for him. And for this public display of incompetence (though not that belief in Bo Schembechler's Michigan), Brandon should probably be put on the hot seat if not fired outright. This is a debacle of unthinkable proportions.

For now, I'll be on Twitter expressing my extreme hatred for everything that's transpired in the last 10 days and badgering Brandon to make a decision that won't further bury Michigan. This is not a good day.

Wet Owl to replace Rich Rodriguez

I was waiting for the right time to release this information, but I have three sources on good standing that all say Wet Owl will be announced on Monday as Michigan's next head coach. They each mentioned that Dave Brandon is impressed with his resistance to being mercilessly sprayed with a hose, something that the previous regime was used to. Brandon also cited his "ability to fly" as a key attribute.

Wet Owl doesn't bring much experience but he does bring a keen mind and the tools necessary to catch field mice. He's a questionable hire, but depending on who he brings in as defensive coordinator, he may be able to turn the program in the right direction. Perhaps most importantly, he's faster (when wet) than Denard Robinson, something that has reportedly impressed the talented sophomore and may keep him on Michigan's campus.

Wet Owl declined comment.

Jim Harbaugh, Come on down

Since Michigan's last demoralizing loss at the hands of Ohio State, I kept telling people, "I think Rich Rod will probably be around next year. But the team has to at least be competitive in the bowl game." This is no longer the case. For all intents and purposes, Rich Rodriguez is no longer the head coach at Michigan. Dave Brandon will avoid the media until Wednesday or Thursday when he can officially announce that Rodriguez has been canned and they're beginning the coaching search, which will be over in a day or two when Michigan and Jim Harbaugh come to terms on a contract.

This is disappointing because it means the end of the spread offense at Michigan and more importantly, Denard Robinson, who will land on his feet after a redshirt year at some spread offense powerhouse (see: Auburn, Oregon, etc.). Losing Denard will be the biggest disappointment of all because aside from being an incredible athlete and football talent, he's the kind of kid you want to be the face of your program. So Michigan will be tossed back into the throes of attrition and rebuilding as a new coaching staff looks to maintain the current roster and rebuild a new one. Whether or not they have a redshirt freshman Devin Gardner to take the reigns a la Pryor at Ohio State is yet to be seen, but regardless, Michigan is going to be seriously devoid of talent at key positions once again.

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On Saturday, Michigan was killed. It wasn't even competitive. Part of that was talent: the defense is still remarkably young, poorly coached, and lacking in physical skills. But worse was the playcalling, and this time, not just Greg Robinson's. Michigan didn't do anything on either side of the ball. Mississippi State was, as they showed all year, blitzing like mad men and yet Michigan kept handing the ball off to Vincent "Can't Break a Tackle" Smith who was slaughtered to the tune of 1.9 YPC. The Denard one-man play action wasn't shown once, a play that would've been effective against the Bulldogs defense. Michigan threw about a half dozen screens, a common method for slowing down a blitz. Mississippi State said, "We're going to sell out on the run" and Michigan kept running the ball. This was not an impressive performance from the offensive coaching staff.

On the defensive side of the ball, you have to feel for the linemen, who had to play 80+ defensive snaps and managed to hold the 16th best rushing attack in the country to 3.5 YPC. The secondary, on the other hand, was exactly what we've come to expect: nonexistent. Chris Relf, who is mediocre at best, went 18/23 (what?!?!) for 281 yards, 3 TDs, and 1 INT. This defense has gotten no better throughout the year and might be the worst in the country. This is an utter embarrassment and it'll be interesting to see what players get substantial playing time next year with the coaching overhaul.

Bullets

• Mississippi St. was 5/5 of fourth down. There was no need to punt the ball because Michigan was unable to stop the Bulldogs from getting 1-2 yards on any play. Reasonable coaches against any other defense in the same position would've kicked the ball 5/5 times. But since Michigan's defense is so terrible, punting was a ludicrous options.
• Denard was held mostly in check going 27/41 through the air for 254 yards. Michigan's coaches kept putting the offense behind the chains by running the same read-option on first down that Mississippi St. was selling out against. Denard did make two of his best throws as a Wolverine in this game (the touchdown passes), but he was put in such awful situations all game that his passing stats look unimpressive at best.
• Relf is bigger than most of Michigan's defenders and ran over all of them.
• Why Rodriguez thought it was a reasonable idea to attempt any field goals in this game is beyond me. Michigan's kickers can't kick.
• Martavious Odoms was a revelation on kick returns. It's a shame he's been out the whole season.
• Michigan's other receivers all looked good in this game, making difficult catches to bail out Denard and the offense in tough situations.
• Michigan's first drive was impressive, but it was clear right away that it wasn't replicable in the long term. The team was in too many third and long situations to expect them to be that successful all day. Michigan didn't make any adjustments all game and it showed.

Going forward, it'll probably be a lot of insider news that this blog isn't great (or concerned with) breaking. Big news will come in the form of coaching announcements, recruit commits/decommits, and other general whathaveyou. I doubt I'll do much posting about the Gator Bowl, making basketball more of a focus. I'll also try to do report cards for all players and coaches throughout the offseason. Time to hunker down and hope that this "coaching search"* goes as smoothly as planned.

*For the record, if Harbaugh ends up taking an NFL job, I'd bet that Rodriguez is around for another year with a new defensive coaching staff. But with the kind of money that Michigan is going to throw at Harbaugh, it's probably close to a done deal that he comes back.

Holy cripes! Division Names Edition

So the Big Ten announced it's new division names:

Legends Division
Iowa, Michigan, Michigan State, Northwestern, Nebraska, Minnesota

Leaders Divison
OSU, PSU, Illinois, Purdue, Indiana, Wisconsin

This gets a Groan-. These are bland and meaningless. There's no conference significance to them aside from Leaders being a nod to Michigan, I guess, although Michigan isn't even in that division. For all of the talk of trying to honor the greats of the conference etc., this is a truly abysmal showing.

And the new logo?

This is mostly inoffensive besides the fact that it looks like it should be on a billboard for an anti-smoking ad. My biggest problem is the 10 allusion in B1G. Even the old logo acknowledged that there were 11 teams in the Big Ten. I understand it's a little harder to do with 12, but I don't know why they're playing up the number 10 in the logo and making no concession to the fact that the conference has 12 teams.

Overall grade: C-

UMass: Where owls

At some point during Michigan's win against UMass on Saturday, I stopped being terrified. I knew how the game was going to end. I watched it for four years while I attended Michigan, the last four of the Lloyd Carr era. Eventually, UMass was going to make it close, Michigan would curl up in the fetal position (read: prevent shell), and Michigan would pull it out in a terrifyingly pedestrian fashion. When Denard Robinson lined up under center in the I-formation on third and one with five minutes left in a two possession game, everyone in the stadium knew what was going to happen, including a UMass linebacker who blew into the backfield untouched and tackled Vincent Smith for a three yard loss. Somewhere, Lloyd Carr was sitting in a plush leather chair and smiling.

But Michigan's offense wasn't the problem. They scored 42 points, racked up 525 yards, only turned the ball over once, and generally looked like the behemouth we've all come to expect despite not debuting any new formations or plays. Michigan--or maybe just Denard Robinson again--did what they were supposed to do despite Rich Rodriguez's recent urge to run half back dives at the end of games. Obviously, the bigger concern of the game was Greg Robinson's refusal to do, well, anything. Among the biggest, obvious complaints:

• Never blitzing a corner on Totally Surprising Quarterback Rollouts that were gashing the defense
• Never playing man coverage
• Never playing a 4-3 defense
• Think. Adapt. Think

But let's handle these one by one. Never blitzing a corner on Totally Surprising Quarterback Rollouts that were gashing the defense. It took Michigan until UConn's last offensive series to blitz a cornerback on the one play that UMass ran repeatedly to astounding effect. Over and over again, UMass quarterback Kyle Havens rolled out of the pocket and hit any one of various free receivers downfield that were scampering through the Wolverines' porous zones. He completed 22 of 29 passes and produced a better performance on Saturday than he did the previous two weeks against William and Mary and Holy Cross. This defense is just as awful as we thought it was. The only hope (the only hope) is that Robinson was told this week not to show any new formations or fronts. That seems unlikely. Eventually, they blitzed JT Floyd off the edge and it ended in a broken play that went UMass' way, which, fine, that'll happen. But Robinson's complete and utter inability to make adjustments is terrifying. This was the worst called defensive game I've ever watched.

Then again, Michigan's defense might not be so anemic if they could play man coverage. Again, I think it took until UMass' last offensive series for the Michigan defense to show man coverage. UMass receivers were devouring Michigan's zones. I understand that the team has little to no depth in the secondary and putting true freshmen like Cullen Christian out there is a harrowing thought, but was anyone else watching this game?

Of course, the passing game wasn't the only thing that Michigan couldn't defend. They were being shredded on the ground too to the tune of 217 yards and 4.4 YPC. Part of this was because of Robinson's insistence on playing a three-man defensive line that was repeatedly getting pushed back. I understand that the coaches are upset with Will Campbell's conditioning. I get that. But to never show a 4-3 front when it's obvious to everyone watching that the defensive line is a) being put on skates or b) slanting away from the play because they need to get into the backfield somehow, well that's just willful ignorance and stubbornness on behalf of the coaches. Campbell needed to be on the field. He has the size to contend with UMass' offensive line, something that the defensive front desperately needed.

Finally, THINK DUDE. Do something. Please. Robinson seemed much too content sitting back and watching as UMass trounced our piecemeal defense. He didn't show anything new. He didn't seem overly concerned with the beating, either. We all assumed that the defense was going to be bad, and when they seemed to show improvement in the first two games, Michigan fans had every right to be excited. The problem is, we all assumed the problems on defense would stem from personnel, not necessarily awful play calling, an utter lack of adjustments, and frankly, the scheme. It's too early to bury this defense yet, but the grave has been dug.

But a win is a win, and after the last two years, we've all learned to appreciate the good, even when it comes with the most ominous rain clouds. Michigan should have a much easier opponent next week against Bowling Green, but you never know anymore. The team is going to put this game behind them. I suggest you do the same. It'll help you sleep easier. But not much.

Troy Woolfolk: Broken

My friends and I often joke in nonsequiturs. For example, Wet Owl, an internet meme to my group of friends and something that confuses everyone else who comes in contact with it. So a few days ago, a friend and I were talking about Michigan football; we discussed all of the awful things that have happened the past two years and that something similarly awful had to happen this year. We decided that the most damaging thing that could happen to the team was the sudden loss of Troy Woolfolk after he broke both arms and legs in a tragic bear attack. In this regard, the news that Woolfolk dislocated his ankle and is now out for the season is at least partially my fault.

After Justin Turner left the program last week, I did a post about the cornerback depth chart. I concluded thusly:

This is a bad thing, but if Michigan can avoid injuries to its secondary this year, it may not be as devastating as it seems. Now we just have to pray like hell Christian came to Michigan ready to contribute and the Tao of Barwis has a fast track.

So.... what now? Let's take a look:

J.T. Floyd	Cullen Christian
Terrence Talbott	Courtney Avery
Various walk-ons	Me

Not to over estimate what happened today, but the injury to Woolfolk may very well mark the end of the Rich Rodriguez era at Michigan. Unless Floyd, Christian, and the Talbott/Avery platoon drastically outperform their recruiting rankings and on-field play, Michigan's defense just went from having the potential to be a middle of the pack Big Ten squad to easily the most vulnerable defense in the Big Ten, if not one of the worst in the country. Woolfolk's loss is really that impactful. And that's assuming there aren't any other injuries during the year.

At this point, I'm glad I'll be away from my computer for the next three or four days. I'm just exasperated. I don't know what to do anymore. Can anything go right for this program? How many bad things have to happen until our luck turns?

For now, put on your Maize and Blue colors and just stand there as God sprays you with a water gun. It's about to get ugly.

Let's Get Denarded In Here

Because there are no real stories out of fall practice yet and my friend put the idea in my head.

Fall Camp!

In recent months, Wet Owl Photoshopping has become something of an obsession for me. Fall camp opens today. Huzzah.